Alone

Follow my blog with Bloglovin
Day after the big argument...

No one is talking to me still. By no one I mean NO ONE. My mother still hasn't spoken a single word to me. My big brother neither except to give me food which I highly appreciate.  My uncle neither, which is a little harsh. My little brother neither, he's just so focused on playing video games that I'm nonexistent and for once I don't mind. I didn't mind because they let me be.

I feel okay as long as I'm secluded from the rest. I feel safer alone. For some reason I just want to walk out to jog in the mornings or something but I know I can't because my mother wouldn't allow that. I'm safe here in front of my laptop watching anime or movies.

I'm okay...

I'm okay because I have no one to hurt here. It's true, I guess I always end up hurting someone when I walk out of this room and I don't like it. I like it here. I like it here when I'm happy and dancing crazily around my room or working out because I feel fat. I'm safe here because in here I know my limits are given to me. I know not to leave this place or things will go downhill. Sources? Everyday.

It's not a new thing and I will never treat it as if it were. I hope this habit or lifestyle of mines doesn't become a hazard to my beautiful relationship with my boyfriend. He's never done something to hurt me. I would never want to hurt him. I don't want to. I would hate to lose him too...