My childhood friend is still mad at me.
I'm honestly still mad at him. Everything is making me so frustrated. For example, I know that if I were to apologize he'd probably still hold a grudge and things would be awkward. I guess I should mention the whole story so ya'll won't be lost in reading this.
So here it is:
I have a two childhood friends (one female and one male), a boyfriend, and a few other friends I made in high school. We were always making plans together to go someplace or another. Well one day I decided I wanted to hang out with my friends but since I don't get money from anywhere I believed it to be nicer if it were someplace where we could cook the food and watch a movie. So I decided for that place to be at my boyfriend's house. The problem was that even though I asked him permission to bring friends over at his place he didn't like the idea of the number of friends that were going to end up going. Yep, he got upset with me. Naturally like any other girl trying to fix the problem, I canceled. I thought maybe we could just change the date and go somewhere else in order for me to afford to go somewhere else. So we did. We had a day planned for us to all spend time together. I was actually really excited because I never really had friends to go to places with so I made sure I did my homework the day before.
So I'm sitting here in my room, doing my homework, and reading the messages they were posting on our group chat.
I decided not to answer back because I knew that if I did I would end up getting distracted. Getting distracted while trying to do homework is so hard to me.
Well anyways, they're chatting and all of a sudden my female childhood friend sent a message that caught my attention. It said that I might not even go to the meet up because I was going to meet up with my boyfriend at his house to cook.
My male childhood friend instantly started with some crap like "Oh yeah, "cook" :|"
Only one friend jumped in to my rescue saying, "Well maybe it's just for their alone time, I don't think they'll be there the whole time."
To which my female friend answered, "...yeah." And my male childhood friend answered with, "Well we can go without them."
That's when things went downhill. I decided to not answer them although I was reading everything. I was so curious of what they would say next. And indeed they made plans without us. Like gee thanks for taking my invitation, throwing it in the trash, then leave me out of yours. So I ended up not going anywhere the next day but to my boyfriends house to have a LONG talk, he apologized and everything but seriously nothing clears up with an apology apparently. I started getting mad for sooo many reasons that I can say at any point to defend myself. Here's a list of why I was pissed:
- My boyfriend didn't tell me he had told my friend about this. (Yes I did agree to go cook, we had a whole meal planned! But it surely didn't mean I wanted to be there the whole time. I actually wanted to spend time with my friends.)
- They're intentions were totally wrong! I hate when people make assumptions. Like I already have people judging me, I don't think I need my friends judging me either.
- My boyfriend never cleared it up.
- I apologized to my male childhood friend if I offended him after I noticed he was mad and he told me it didn't matter and to forget about it. Right afterwards he went and got all mad at my female friend who honestly felt terrible afterwards. Like no, you don't tell me to forget about it and then go get mad at someone innocent. I'm sorry but the world doesn't revolve around you. So I completely ignored him after that.
- Now I feel frustrated because I feel guilty as hell and my female friend is trying to fix things between him and me. Today she made a new group chat after he deleted us off of his and she added everyone in it again. Guess who was the first person to get out of it? Yep, it was him.
It's obvious things aren't going so good so far. The worst part is a lot of my friends don't like my male childhood friend because of this and the damage is done. Somehow I feel like I took part in this friendship breaking up.
I feel even lonelier without him though..
It's bad enough I already felt lonely.
By the way, if you ever have a problem I'm here to help! Don't be afraid to ask me for advice or intake in something.