Everyone else is having fun while I'm sitting here doing nothing. Absolutely nothing, well except for blogging this which counts as nothing since I doubt anyone reads this. My day is more boring than being in line waiting to get a passport. Those are boring.
*Sigh* I guess it was a small payment to pay for all the arguing I'm always doing. I hate doing it but for some strange reason I can't stop myself. I seem to have a conflict with my inner self wherever I go. It's quite complicated actually. I know I have a problem. People wouldn't hate me so darn much if I didn't have one. Problem is no one tries to help me and I'm too scared to help myself. What a dilemma, huh?
There's nothing much that I can do for now except to accept what is given to me. How can I pay something back when it's a gift? A gift should never be payed back right? Well that's how bad it is in my home. I want to pay back everything that's been given to me for the fact that I need it and I use it but it's always rubbed in my face that it is. That's not necessarily a good thing.
Or is it?
I, for a fact, know that I don't feel so good about myself the way I am now. However, I feel relieved that I have had permission to leave once I'm the age of 18. That's what makes me happy. I know that it's not a good thing to be in a feud with everyone in your family so I see it best if I live without them. Of course I love them and will visit them frequently, but I feel that living together is what makes our relationship that much worse. I wish for them the best and for myself. Good luck to me on getting scholarships and getting out of this house!
No comments:
Post a Comment